Why we pierce children's ears from five, not as babies

If you searched for baby ear piercing, here is the straight answer first: we don't pierce babies. We pierce children's lobes from five, with a parent in the room, with a needle and never a gun. That isn't a judgement of anyone who did it differently. It's a rule I set for our room, and this is the reasoning behind it, what a children's appointment here looks like, and what to look for wherever you go.

The short answer for parents

Lobes from age five, with you beside them the whole time. Children under 14 are pierced Wednesday to Sunday. Both lobes are $200 in implant-grade titanium, jewellery included, or $150 for one.

Booking, what to bring and the day itself are all on our children's ear piercing page. This post answers the question that page gets asked most: why not sooner?

Why we wait until they can say yes

Lots of families pierce ears in the first year. In plenty of cultures it's a tradition that goes back generations, and plenty of adults had their ears done before they can remember and are glad of it. I'm not here to tell anyone that was wrong. I'm telling you why it isn't what we do.

It's their ear

A piercing is a permanent hole in your child's body. I think that should be their choice, and by five most children can tell you clearly whether they want earrings and which ones. Picking their earrings is part of the appointment. Watching a child choose a piece and then sit up straight for the mirror is my favourite part of the job.

Yes has to mean something

Nothing happens in our room until your child says yes. That rule only works if they can say it. A baby can't say yes or no, so for a baby the rule would mean nothing, and I don't want to work in a room where it means nothing. If a child wants to stop, we stop.

Keeping still for the mark and the needle

The part that decides how an ear looks for the rest of their life is the mark, not the needle. We mark both lobes, show your child in the mirror, and mark again if it isn't right. Two marks that match take a few seconds of stillness and someone who can look and tell us what they think. A five-year-old can do that. They can also take a slow breath in when we ask, and we pierce on the way out.

Looking after it

The aftercare is your job, and you take it home written down. But a child of five can help in ways a baby can't. They can keep their hands off it, leave the jewellery alone, and tell you when something feels different.

Is there a painless piercing for a baby?

People search for this, and I understand why. The honest answer is no. No piercing is painless, at any age, and I'd be wary of any promise that one is.

What makes it gentle is a sharp needle and a calm room. The needle passes through in under a second and the end goes in at the same moment. Most children describe a brief pinch, and the second lobe is usually done before they have had time to think about it. The marking takes longer than the needle does.

What happens at a children's appointment

Forty-five minutes, one family in the room, no queue. In order:

1. You stay beside your child the whole time.
2. Your child meets their piercer and picks their earrings first.
3. Both lobes are marked, and you both check them in the mirror. If the mark isn't right, we mark it again.
4. The needle, the receiving tube and the jewellery all come out of sealed, single-use packaging while you watch. Nothing is set out and waiting.
5. Nothing happens until your child says yes. Then a slow breath in, and we pierce on the way out.
6. Both lobes, one after the other. If one is done and they aren't ready for the second, that's fine. You only pay for what was done, and the second ear can wait for another day.
7. You take the aftercare home written down, and the four-week checkup is booked before you leave. It's included.

If they aren't ready on the day at all, there's no charge. Come back when they are.

What to bring, including photo ID for the parent, is on the children's ear piercing page.

Why a needle, never a gun

Every piercing here is done with a single-use needle, and that includes every child's lobe. A needle is sharp, so it parts the tissue cleanly. A gun pushes a blunt stud through by force, its plastic body can't be sterilised, and it comes with one post length for every ear, whatever the size of the lobe.

I've written the full comparison in needle vs cartridge piercing.

What to look for wherever you go

Whether it's our room or anywhere else, and whether your child is five or fifteen, these are the things I'd check before anyone touches their ear.

• A needle. Single-use and sterile, opened in front of you. Ask to watch it come out of the packet.
• Implant-grade titanium or solid gold. Titanium should be implant grade (ASTM F136). Gold should be solid, not plated. If nobody can tell you what the metal is, that is your answer.
• A flat-back post. A flat disc behind the lobe rather than a butterfly clutch, with a post long enough to leave room while it settles, then shortened when it's ready.

And one thing that doesn't fit on a checklist: a piercer who stops when your child says stop.

Titanium or gold for a child

Most children start in implant-grade titanium: $150 for one lobe, $200 for both, jewellery included. Gold is the same as for adults, solid 14k from $350 a lobe or from $600 for both, chosen at the table and pierced in the price.

If your child wants gold, choose it on the day. Gold goes in at the piercing. Changing to a different style waits until the lobe has fully healed, which for lobes is at least six to eight months.

Nothing is added at the chair. The full list is on our prices page.

Looking after a child's new piercing

Rinse it once a day under warm running water in the shower and pat it dry with a clean paper towel. That is the whole clean. Nothing else goes on it: no saline, no sprays, no antiseptic cream, no tea tree oil. More cleaning is not better.

Don't turn the jewellery. It's old advice, and it disturbs the tissue that is trying to heal. Hands washed before anyone touches it, your child's included.

At the four-week checkup we shorten the post if it's ready, so the end sits close. The full routine is on the aftercare page. If anything worries you, call us on 09 949 0940.

Booking for your child in Parnell

We're at 389 Parnell Road, Parnell, Auckland, by appointment and open seven days. Children under 14 are pierced Wednesday to Sunday. On a Monday or Tuesday, lobes are for 14 and over.

A first piercing is something your child will remember, so we give it the same thing we give every client: the right spot, a piece you love, and all the time it takes. When you're ready, book for your child on the children's ear piercing page. Questions first? Call 09 949 0940.